Everyone argues from time to time. However, if there is a consistent pattern of behaviour from your partner that intimidates, upsets, hurt, harms, demeans or prevents you from making your own decisions, your partner may be using coercively controlling behaviour.
Answers these questions:
- Does your partner criticise or undermine you?
- Does your partner prevent you from doing things?
- Does your partner make you feel bad about yourself or your life?
- Do you have to ask permission to do things?
- Does your partner check up on you, follow you or monitor you either in real life or online?
- Does your partner regularly accuse you of flirting, looking at others or cheating on them?
- Is your partner jealous or controlling?
- Do you ever change your behaviour as you are afraid of what your partner will do?
- Do they prevent you from sleeping or taking medication?
- Do they pressure you to drink or take substances?
- Do they pressure you to have sex with them or others?
- Does your partner make the rules and regulations and micro manage you?
- Has your partner prevented you from taking medicine or seeking medical help?
- Has your partner threatened to take the child(ren) away?
- Has your partner tried to stop you leaving the house?
- Has your partner ever made you have sex against your will with them or anyone else or made you do things that made you feel uncomfortable?
- Has your partner ever destroyed your possessions?
- Have you ever been afraid of your partner at any time?
- Does your partner prevent you from being in education or employment?
- Does your partner take your pay?
- Does your partner refuse to let you access a bank account?
- Does your partner control how and when money is spent?
- Does your partner dictate what you can buy?
- Does your partner make you ask for money or provide an allowance?
- Does your partner check your receipts?
- Does your partner make you justify each purchase?
- Does your partner control the use of property such as phone or car?
- Does your partner insist all economic assets (e.g savings, house) are in there name?
- Does your partner keep financial information secret?
- Does your partner steal your money or property?
- Do they cause damage to your property?
- Does your partner refuse to contribute to household costs?
- Do they spend money needed for household items or bills?
- Do they build up debt in your name?
- Do they insist all bills, credit cards & loans are in your name and make you pay for them?
If you answer ‘yes’ you may be being abused.
Answer the DASH Risk Checklist questions here https://www.dashriskchecklist.co.uk/v-dash/
Call the 24hr freephone National Domestic Violence Helpline (run in partnership between Women’s Aid and Refuge) which is available on 0808 2000 247 24 hours a day, 7 days a week
Surviving Economic Abuse